When the Thrill is Gone

Getting A Gushy Mind Back

Dear Death,

I’m walking through a national park that has objectively stunning beauty, but it’s not striking me the same way that it used to.

I remember when I first started backpacking and camping, I was constantly experiencing euphoria from the new sights, sounds, smells and experiences. Simply seeing the shadows cast on a craggy mountain was enough to take my breath away. Fast-forward through 25 years of nature immersion around the globe and I feel like I’ve just about seen it all. The same landscapes that once struck me with wonder are mundane. I find myself chasing greater highs through more extreme ways of immersing myself in nature: mountaineering, BASE jumping, cold plunges, drugs etc. But I miss the simplicity of simply walking slowly through a lovely valley and getting that rush of wonder. I’m wearing out my nervous system. When I’m too old to expose myself to thrill-induced endorphins, what should I do?

Best,

Thrill Seeker

I have good news for you, Thrill Seeker. Honing your subtle awareness of simple things can be as profound and big an experience as BASE jumping. A single breath can be even more beguiling and wondrous than getting electrocuted at a Spartan race. Deep down you already know that because you remember it and yearn to return to the euphoria you felt on your first hikes.  There are effective mindfulness techniques to open yourself to subtle wonder again. 

I will share a few practices you can try but let’s first talk about the trap of thrill seeking. First, it is natural to seek ecstatic and intense mind states. Jumping out of an airplane the first time can be a peak life experience. However people gain tolerance quickly. Add dozens or hundreds more jumps and the brain won't give you that rush of endorphins to the same degree. For some lovers of the skydiving sport, that’s fine. They find enjoyment in the mastery of the skills involved in keeping themselves and others safe thousands of feet in the air. 

However, if what brought you to a sport like sky-diving was the adrenaline, the loss of a jump's ability to deliver an intense hit can feel like a loss. It can drive you to even more dangerous and extreme sports like BASE jumping– until even that loses its ability to deliver a thrilling high. 

The brain only makes so much dopamine and serotonin. Back when you went on hikes, the beauty of the natural world was sufficient to have your brain release the floodgates and wash your awareness with the molecules that turn a spark of wonder into euphoria.  But if you try to smash the gates open too often with alcohol, drugs, or thrill seeking– your brain can run low on dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline. You can squeeze your brain dry of the wonder molecules- and not give them the chance to recover. To have the change you seek, first, you will need a gushy mind again. 

Rest and time is enough to replace your brain chemicals, but if you seek intensity in life, not just sports, it’s likely you have become used to a constant stream of intense everything. To tune into a more subtle wonder, it helps to pull back from other intense sensations to restore your sensitivity.

Getting a Gushy Mind

Fortunately, the mind’s capacity to seek intensity unsustainably has been well known for millennia. Your brain can snap back with some disciplined practices of going without. Renouncing the thrills, substances and even flavors of intensity for a limited time can make your brain gushy with sensitivity again.

Think of it as a one-two punch. First get the gushy mind and then find some bliss in a simple mindfulness practice.

Gushy Mind Fasting

What follows is a program for restoring a clear and gushy mind from too much intensity. You will get plenty of calories but limit intense sensation. Here are the things you will need to limit during the intensity fast.

Extreme sports

Don’t jump out of any airplanes during this practice. Avoid the adrenaline.

Exercise like running, lifting weights, or yoga are encouraged.

Substances

Abstain from alcohol and all mind altering substances. Even if they aren’t a problem for you. It is their nature to deplete that gushy mind you are trying to recover.

All Nighters

Get plenty of sleep.

Media

Sigh. This one is hard. You need to avoid doom scrolling on your phone. You need to avoid getting caught up in social media drama or hilarious memes. If you catch yourself for a second, just put it down. You don’t need to be hard on yourself but you do need to start turning away.

I’m well aware most people can’t go completely offline. But limit what isn’t essential as much as possible. 

Also, avoid horror films and tv as well as thrillers. If you watch tv, keep it more Antiques Roadshow and less Game of Thrones. Reading is also a great replacement for screen time.

Sex

Sex is intense. Avoid porn and masturbation during this intensity fast. Avoid hook-ups. 

If you have a partner, focus on the more sensual, affectionate sides of sex and make it about intimacy.

Stress and Drama

Some work stress or family drama is unavoidable for many. But as much as you can avoid or limit getting caught up in the middle of it during this time.

Diet

People today are fortunate to have every spice, and flavor available at a moment’s notice. Spices used to be worth their weight in gold. Sugar was a luxury product. It’s wonderful people have these things but if you want to create sensitivity to new experiences, you have to limit flavor intensity for a time.

A single bag of Doritos is the masterwork of a generation of food scientists trying to create the loudest and most extreme flavor bomb a human being could ever experience. Your first subtle bliss from meditating just can’t compete with that Nacho Cheese flavor.

Once you go further down the subtle path, you can have all the spicy food back. But to begin, it is much easier if you avoid the following.

Avoid Spicy: Sorry, no hot sauce right now. Avoid any big or intense spices of any kind from the powder on a Doritos chip to black pepper on your eggs in the morning. Also avoid big flavor spices that aren’t hot but have intense flavor like cumin or curry.

Avoid Sugar: Sugar is intense. Avoid foods with added sugar.

Avoid Salt:Go low sodium during this fast. Salt your food much less and avoid processed foods which are almost always heavy on the sodium.

Avoid Red Meat: Red meat tastes so good to our brains. They are an intense food. So avoid the beef, pork and other red meats during this fast.

Fermented Foods: They are salty, first of all. They are also intense with fermented or vinegar flavor. 

Intense Cheese: Plain yogurt or some mild cheddar or swiss cheese are fine. But avoid parmesan, blue cheese or anything super aged and intense.

Processed foods: Almost all processed foods have been designed in laboratories to be intense and addictive with excess salt, sugar, fat or flavors. Even the ones with health designations on the packaging have often been designed for intense addictive flavor. Avoid them all.

What to eat instead: 

Chicken, fish, tofu, beans, rice, vegetables, bread, really anything else. Get plenty of calories for this whole time period but do it with limited salt, sugar, spice and intensity.

How you Know Your Mind Is Gushy Enough for Phase Two

Every morning, eat a small bowl of berries. It doesn’t matter what kind. You can have them plain or with some plain yogurt. Notice how they taste every morning. In about a week, you will likely start to notice your experience of eating the bowl of berries start to change.

When they start tasting tantalizingly delicious– like better tasting than you ever believed a berry could be, congratulations, your mind is getting gushy again. For most people, depending on how disciplined you are at following the intensity fast, you will reach a wondrous berry taste experience in one to two weeks. Then you are ready for phase two.

Mindfulness

I’ll keep this section simple. Here are three things to try while you are still on your gushy mind fast. Go deeper with whatever is opening your mind again to subtle wonder. Think of it as a taste of what’s possible from subtle awareness. Then, keep going. Explore what works. 

Breath meditation: Find a teacher, an app or even a retreat to help learn how. See if breath feels different with the break you’ve given your system from intensity. Lean into your curiosity about your breath and see what it feels like. 

Walking meditation: Go for a walk or hike outside someplace beautiful. Focus on walking mindfully. Let yourself feel your feet hit the ground. Practice noticing small details of the nature around. See if you find some wonder again.

Movement Art: Take a class about mindful movement. Try tai-chi, a dance class or anything in that area. See if you find any wonder in simply moving your body with some intention.

Coming off the Gushy Mind Fast

You can start coming off the special diet once you start to experience some subtle gateways into euphoria. Once you have mediation practice, spicy food won’t hurt it. The limit is just an aid so the beginning steps will work.

Subtle euphoria from things like meditation or hiking doesn’t waste your dopamine and serotonin in single intense experiences and it won’t deplete you. Enjoy your new practice as much as you like. Make it a daily time to feel amazing.

You can also add back in the media and watch that horror movie. It’s always a great idea to avoid unnecessary stress and phone addiction, but you don’t have to be as disciplined.

Keep in mind that extreme sports or addictive substances will deplete your capacity for wonder much faster than a horror movie or some salty food. You will want to limit BASE jumping and the like to either very infrequently or not at all since it has become a problem for you. 

You can always go back to the Gushy Mind Fast to build your capacity again. And you can learn which intensity triggers make the most difference for you and limit them in a sustainable way for you. 

Good luck!

Sincerely,

Death

P.S. Keep sending your questions to AskDeath@WeCroak.com !