Brainrot Begone!
Getting out of a long life rut with practical philosophy
Dear Death,
I’m despondent. I was laid off from my job a year ago and I just couldn’t land a new one. I’ve mostly stopped trying. I can’t seem to hold onto a passion or find a reason to strive again. I feel guilty that my partner is doing all the work to support us right now, but when I do try, I have so little to show for it. I feel like all my enormous talent is just rotting. Help!
Sincerely,
Suffering Brainrot
Dear Suffering Brainrot,
Life is short and precious but I think you know that already. You are feeling the days go by without an outlet for your energies, reliable income or the pursuit of a goal. It hurts. You know something precious is going to waste. Rot is what happens to perfectly good food that never makes it on a plate. That’s a terrible thing to think about yourself.
I also want to acknowledge that the version of capitalism you’ve been living under lately is ruthless. Big companies are bragging about laying off more well performing workers because they believe they can get away with overworking the ones they keep. It’s like a dark game of musical chairs where every round another seat disappears and only the quick or lucky survive for long. And unlike musical chairs, enough time out of the game doesn’t mean it will be easy to get invited back.
To weather the storms of this reality, you are going to have to find firmer ground to build your identity upon. If you build your self-confidence on things that aren’t up to you like staying employed in a competitive field, a crisis like this can happen through no fault of your own. The distinction is between basing how you feel about yourself on things that are yours alone and not up to other people or luck. And it is easier said than done but death is here to help.
You lost something. It was a job and you held it so tightly it was part of you. Now that part of you is dead. You are stumbling through life unable to give up who you were but that person is dead. Let them go. See if you can live again with a stronger and more resilient identity based on other things. Accept what you must. That job is over and basing too much of yourself on something you can lose as easily as a job isn’t safe.
Start a daily review every evening. Pick a few values like creativity, helping people or whatever you want and challenge yourself to live up to those values a few hours a day. Then, at the end of the day write down whether you lived up to that value. If you love creativity, spending three hours on anything from applying to creative jobs, to building an innovative business plan, to networking with creative people could earn you that check for yourself at the end of the day. Practice taking a moment to feel good about yourself when you manage to live up to a value you set for yourself. This exercise is about retraining your brain to feel rewarded based on your efforts, rather than what simply happens to you.
The other thing I recommend is talking to your partner who has been keeping the house afloat. Ask how you can support them. Tell them your plan and how you are making efforts to contribute more in different ways. Though you were unlucky in a lay-off, you are lucky indeed in having a partner willing and able to weather the storm with you. As you rebuild how you think about yourself, also acknowledge that not all your luck ran out and be good to that part in your life. And while having such a partner is also no guarantee, it’s a good thing to remember to be a good partner back and feel good about it at the end of the day.
Sincerely,
Death
–
In Other News:
I started a new substack called Worlds To Build writing on my love of science-fiction and the art of world building. While it will be lighter than life advice from the perspective of death, you can expect some philosophy and real world insights coming from the perspective of, well, other worlds. I’d definitely appreciate it if you go over there, check out the first post and subscribe!
